Prisha Khimavat

This is part of a writing challenge. Read more about it here.

Dilemma: (noun) A difficult situation or problem

Inconsequential dilemmas.

Every single day we all face dilemmas we deem unworthy of being discussed. It’s the little things that plague us and sometimes leave behind the taste of metal in our mouths. We categorize them as personal problems, dilemmas that others’ opinions aren’t involved in, issues that we decide to often keep private. Because they’re minuscule, irrelevant, inconsequential.

Was what I said to that person acceptable or do they think negatively of me now? Is it rude to cancel plans because I feel horrible and have no desire to talk to humans? Should I text that person that I’ve been dying to talk to but have a pressing feeling that I’m not supposed to? Should I change who I am? Because other people don’t seem to like it. Is today even worth getting out of bed for? Would people notice if I disappeared off the face of the earth for a day? What’s the point of it all? Why bother?

These and so many more feelings are so valid and so real, and these “inconsequential dilemmas” probably look very different for each and every person. Nevertheless, they exist. It’s so easy to feel invalid or inconsequential when everyone you talk to seems to have dilemmas that appear to be way more real and valid. Sometimes, it’s may even be true that their problem or struggle outweighs yours. But I can’t help but think why do we weigh the size of people’s pain anyway?

Isn’t all pain and hurt valid? If you’re having a problem with something shouldn’t you be allowed to deal with it? There are so many people every single day who keep their hurt, pain, and dilemmas under wraps until one day it just explodes. I’m fully aware that as a society we’re trying to move forward and that we’re getting much better about being accepting towards one another, but we have so far to go. We’re so quick to pass judgment and so slow to actually listen. In fact, we listen just so we can speak again. We’re quick to anger and slow to understand. We’re quick to insult and slow to uplift. We’re focused on clapbacks and tea, and I’m not just pushing the blame outwards, I’m aware that I’m at fault too, but we’re so focused on clapbacks and tea that we ignore the hurt and hate that it’s spreading. Truly, we’re so quick to hate and so slow to love.

There’s so much hate and negativity that’s constantly brewing in us that it’s that much more difficult to love, and be kind. No matter what background you come from, being a loving, kind and positive person is a good thing. So, why is our world and mindset headed towards a world where roasting and exposing people is entertaining, and where we’re all (me very much included) always trying to find someone who’s “spilling that hot tea.” Essentially when did we become a people that find others’ pain amusing?

I don’t know about you, but this is not where I want to be headed. If you think about it, we’re being extremely contradictory. We encourage people to be open and honest, while we exploit others’ pain. How is someone meant to be vulnerable in an environment like that? We can talk about and campaign for mental health issues and encourage people to do away with stigmas all we want, but as beneficial as that is, the rising amount of hate makes it very difficult and scary for anyone to be truthful and honest about their pain.

Which brings me back to the inconsequential dilemmas. Most of the inconsequential dilemmas are not so at all, in fact, they may, very well, be the exact opposite. But with the amount of negativity being passed around on a daily basis, it makes it terrifying to be vulnerable about the problems we face. Especially when the consequences of sharing could seemingly be worse than the problem itself.

Having been on the side where I keep my pain hidden, and on the side that’s always excited about the tea and gossip, I can safely say that I want to make a change. As amusing and entertaining as gossip can be, being on the other side of it is hurtful and devastating. Having to hide your pain so you’re not dragged through the mud is much worse than the joy of watching someone in pain. I’m making a change in my own life. I haven’t always been mindful of how the content I engage in affects other people, but no more. I want to spread kindness, and not hate. I’m not saying all this to have a feel-good ending to my post, or to be cheesy, but rather because this is a topic that’s quickly becoming very close to me. I am tired of the culture we’re cultivating and I know it may be difficult, but I want no part in it. I’m out.

~ Prisha Khimavat ~

Duration: 33 minutes and 31 seconds