This is part of a writing challenge. Read more about it here.
Throughout my eighteen years, serenity has looked very different for me. It’s been places, activities, scents, things and even people. Being completely honest, it is something that has been extremely difficult for me to find, because I’m constantly anxious or worried about something. Which is why the times that I have been able to find it, it’s been so special to me.
When I was about eight years old, serenity meant waiting all day for bedtime when I could climb into bed and spend about an hour reading before I slept. Serenity meant seeing little blue fairies and Santa in the middle of the night. It was about imagination and a world away from my mundane world. A world where anything was possible, where essentially my dreams came true.
When I was ten years old, serenity meant eating dinner on my balcony, stargazing, on the nights that my parents were out of the country. Something about sitting under a sky full of stars, satellites, and airplanes reminded me how big the world was. It made me feel as if anything could happen out there, and that nothing was impossible. It was a gorgeous world, that was full of possibilities.
When I was twelve years old, serenity was sitting by the swimming pool with my earphones in, and my feet in the water. The ripples extending out due to the slightest movement and the enveloping cold feeling of water surrounding me. It was calming. The trees that provided shade from the scorching Bangkok heat, but allowed enough light to pass through and make the surface of the water glimmer and shine as it moved. The music in my ears drowned out the sounds of traffic but a few feet away from me. It was my own getaway in the middle of a chaotic city. My own oasis in the midst of a city full of people rushing to be somewhere. In the midst of the crazy, I found my happy.
When I was fourteen years old, my serenity was found in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I didn’t actually want to read the series at first. It was too mainstream and I was in part afraid because there seemed too much pressure to like it. Then, a friend challenged me to read them, and so I did. Before I knew it, I rushed through the series, discovering magic with Harry, fighting for justice with Hermione and finding a family with Ron and the Weasleys. Over the years I’ve read the series nine times and I’m currently rereading it for the tenth time. Its been a source of comfort, a getaway, and yet it’s been full of so much wisdom. I’ve found solace and a community in other potterheads, I’ve found a family of people I belong with. No matter how rough a season in my life feels, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome me home.
The past two years are more of a blur, and I can’t remember things or events specific to years that have been my sources of serenity, so I’ll just talk about different aspects of them. Now, there are many little things that I find serene.
Candles. When I’m feeling stressed or worried, or overwhelmed, I like to light candles and just carry on with whatever it was I was working on. Soon the smells fill the air and before I know it I feel at peace, I feel serene. One of my favorite scents is Spiced Gingerbread from Bath and Body works, but unfortunately I’ve run out of that candle, and they’re not really things I feel comfortable splurging on. Fortunately, I have some amazing people in my life who have gifted me candles that smell amazing and remind me of them when I light them, so thats been amazing!
Next, music. I know I mentioned this one earlier, but it has for years been one of the ways I relax and feel calmer. Something I used to do a lot when I was in my preteen/early teen years was that I’d lock myself in my bathroom, play music and have a dance party by myself. It’s a time that I would enjoy so much! I’d be goofy and just do weird, stupid things and have a blast. I had stopped this over the past few years, but over the last month or so I reintroduced this and I have never been happier. I so thoroughly enjoy listening to music and dancing like a total goofball. The feeling of just letting go and not thinking about other people for a little while is so freeing. It’s something I really enjoy, and something that makes me feel extremely serene and well, free.
Finally, people. There have been many people in my life that make me feel at peace. There are so many people that represent serenity in my life, and all in extremely different ways. Those who make me laugh, and deal with my stupidity on a daily basis. Those remind me that despite my anxieties and worries, I am loved. The people who encourage me, and push me to work harder and do better. Those who I may not always get along with but the ones who keep it real. The ones who constantly remind me that even though I don’t see it at times, I have many positive attributes. The people who are always there for me, the ones who don’t leave no matter what. In essence, all the people who make me feel loved, cared for and wanted. My people.
Serenity can mean polar opposite things to different people, at different times in life. Something that meant so deeply important in one stage of your life can end up being just a vague memory in another, but one thing remains constant. The feeling of peace, and overwhelming sense of belonging. The feeling that this is it, this is my happy place, my unicorn island, my serenity.
~ Prisha Khimavat ~
Duration: 43 minutes and 17 seconds
Leave a Reply