I rubbed my eyes, as I awoke in the middle of the night. There was a sound outside that had snatched me away from my dreams of houses made of candy and swimming pools filled with chocolate syrup.
As I sat on the edge of the bed, my feet dangling in the air, I saw a small light outside slowly getting larger. I jumped off my bed and raced to my giant curtain-clad windows. Without a second thought, I got on all fours and crawled underneath the pink cloth. With a deep breath, I stood back up and opened my eyes that were shut as tight as a pickle jar. For a few seconds, I couldn’t see anything, as darkness clouded my view. But then, I saw her.
A tiny blue figure, the source of the bright light, was struggling near my window. She was squirming and seemed to be letting out sighs, groans, and grunts of pain.
I stood there, unmoving as shock and disbelief overtook my body. Fairies weren’t real were they? My heart beating furiously in my throat made me feel as if I was going to collapse at any moment. Or even worse that she could hear it. Now that fear was in charge of my brain, and my feet were firmly planted on the ground, I realized that I couldn’t look away. I looked closely at her face, trying to figure out why she was here. Her eyes pleading, she looked at me, waiting for me to help. Confused, I didn’t understand what she wanted me to do, so I stood on my tippy toes to look at what was wrong.
That’s when I realized, she was stuck! Half of her sparkly wing was caught in my window. I pulled on her wing as if that could have actually helped her, but it simply caused her more pain. Then out of nowhere, it hit me. All I had to do was open the window, and she’d be free. So I was once again standing on my tippy toes and as I tugged the lock down, the window unlocked. Using all the strength in my tiny body, I pushed.
As the window sprung open, the tiny little girl, with blue hair and wings fell straight down to the window sill. I knelt down, close to her, to see if she was okay, and bam! She flew right in my face. I let my head back and laughed as she stumbled a bit before she found her balance.
Fluttering outside my room, she whispered to me, “Thank you so much! I owe you!”, and with that she flew away. The giant smile on my face strongly reflected the excitement and happiness in my heart. I shut the window once again, and crawled back underneath my pick curtains. As I climbed back into bed, I realized that I didn’t know who she was or why she was there that night, but one thing I did know was that I hoped she would come back.
The next night, when I was once again awoken, I straight away made my way to the window to see if she’d returned. I stood there for a few minutes, but there was no sign of the blue fairy. With a heavy heart I was about to head back to bed, when I heard that wondrous jingling again! She was here! She waved at me from outside the window and blew me a little kiss! Smiling widely, I climbed back into bed. This became a routine of sorts for us, and no matter how bad of a day I’d had, I knew that she would always be there looking over me.
Our routine went undisturbed for a few weeks, but one night, as I was falling asleep, my mom came in my room to tell me, that my dad was coming back home from his month-long-overseas-trip tomorrow morning. In a desperate attempt to make tomorrow come faster, I forgot all about the blue fairy, and forgot to wake up to wave and fly her a kiss.
I woke up the next morning in a frenzy because “What if she had hurt herself again?”, Unable to swallow and over come with guilt I raced to the window. Looking around frantically for her, my head whipped around at every sign of something blue. But after a good eight minutes of looking, I realized, she wasn’t there. I walked back towards my bed to grab a drink of water from the bottle beside it, when I saw a little gift wrapped package. Excited, I ripped the packaging to reveal a beautiful white box inside. I opened the box, fully in awe. My mind was blown! There she was! My guardian blue fairy, was right there! Well, kind of. It was a statue replica of her, that my dad had gotten for me. My six-year-old mind was blown! How was it possible that someone only I had ever seen, was replicated and brought for me by my dad! I had to ask her the next time I saw her!
Unfortunately, I never did see her again. But for a long time, whenever I was scared, she was always there to help me through it. Though when you think about it, she did say that she owed me.
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This is a story that in my memory as a six year old, 100% happened. Even though the rational part of my brain disagrees, it is a memory I hold close to my heart, and try not to think about the logistics of. Because honestly, it was a sweeter, simpler time when logic didn’t matter because you had little blue fairies to meet in the middle of the night.
In a way, this story is an excellent reminder that childlike innocence and faith is beautiful and honestly, it’s quite important. We live in a broken world. Despite my optimism, I can’t deny that our world SUCKS. We hurt each other, for personal satisfaction and gain, and sometimes we even hurt each other for absolutely no reason at all. But even through that, I try really hard to maintain this child like hope in the potential our world has. Yes, we suck. But I see room for change, and betterment, and I hold the belief that change is do able. It may be difficult, but it isn’t impossible.
For those of you who prefer to think about things way more logically than I do, let me just assure you that I don’t disagree with you. Logic is beneficial, in fact being able to think logically is an important sign of maturation. However, sometimes the facts can make it out so there’s a high probability that change will never occur. That things can’t get better. And call me stubborn, but I refuse to believe that things are just going to continue getting ‘suckier’. Because if you don’t believe in something, you can’t make it happen. This, to me, is why childlike faith is important.
Because sometimes, the slim chances of betterment hide underneath the large cloaks of the impossible.
Because if we don’t look for the little blue fairies, how will we save them?
~ Prisha Khimavat ~
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