Prisha Khimavat

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June 21st, 2020. Father’s day.

Father’s day this year was a little different for my family. My dad’s birthday was yesterday on June 20th, so we pretty much celebrated him all weekend, and it was wonderful. But, it did lead me to think about my relationship with my dad, and how it’s evolved in the past 19 years.

When I was born, my dad unfortunately couldn’t be with my mom. There had been some passport/work permit related issues, so he was stuck in Thailand, unable to travel to India, where she was. We didn’t even get to meet each other until I was either a month or a few months old (I don’t know exactly). All throughout my early childhood, he worked a lot. He worked crazy hours, he was always traveling, and often I’d only see him once a month for a few days. To me, it was normal to not always know what country my dad was in.

As kids whose parents either work a lot or travel often, we tend to think about all the things they missed. We think about the missed plays and games. We think about how it feels like they don’t know us, our likes or dislikes. We tend to compare our lives to other families, but as I’ve been thinking about Father’s day, and my relationship with my dad, I’ve realized that not only has he made me who I am, he’s also given me some of my favorite childhood memories.

Since the age of 5 or 6, my dad I would go swimming together. He would teach me how to hold my breath underwater and do handstands and somersaults. We would race to see who could swim faster, and we would play retrieval games where my mom would throw rocks or other objects in the pool, and my dad and I would race to find them. Because he taught me how to swim, and helped me feel confident in the water, I was able to dream of being a mermaid and swim around in my fantasy world on days when he was traveling. Being a pretend mermaid was one of my favorite things as a kid, and my dad gave me that.

At a very young age, my dad also taught me to be independent and do things for myself. It started off with small things like when he came back from his trips, he would give me his boarding pass stubs and tell me he needed me to keep it safe until he left again because he would have to use it then. Even though he didn’t actually need it, seven-year-old me didn’t know that, and I held on to that boarding pass and kept it safe. Little exercises like these taught me how to be more responsible. Sometimes, he would pick a random object, tell me that I had 15 minutes to prepare, and then ask me to sell that object to him. This made me feel more confident and definitely helped hone my public speaking skills. All throughout my childhood, he’d make me do these random exercises that I never really understood, and sometimes hated, but they’ve all shaped me into who I am now.

Aside from responsibilities, he’s also the reason behind many of the things that I love and enjoy now. If you thought our generation was phenomenal at binge-watching TV shows, my dad is on a different level. Because he traveled often, whenever he was in town, he’d prefer just hanging out at home. So, we would watch a lot of TV shows as a family, and we would fully binge-watch them. To this day, I binge watch shows like nobody’s business, and I have to, in part, thank my dad for that. Another thing I learned to enjoy from him, is Starbucks and just coffee shops in general. My dad loves sitting at a coffee shop and talking, and Starbucks is a family favorite. In fact, considering that we all aren’t together often these days, whenever we are, we pick a day and go to a Starbucks together. We sit there for hours and talk about our past year, our future goals, and pretty much anything and everything. It’s one of those moments I look forward to the most whenever I go home.

Even now, I may not talk to my dad every single day, but when I do, we talk for hours. I think our relationships with dads are really interesting because we grow up believing that they are superheroes, that they can do anything, but as we get older things start to change. We start to see the chinks in their armor and we realize that they’re not perfect. They’re human too and they have weaknesses. Sometimes that realization leads to a rift, maybe we pull away from them because of a difference in opinion or perspective, but eventually, we bridge that gap. Sometimes we get so caught up in all the things that didn’t happen, that we forget about the things that did.

I know my dad has worked really hard to give me the life that I have, and honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without that. I know that he has had to sacrifice a lot for me, his health, sleep, enjoyment, and much much more, and I am beyond grateful for that. But today I want to thank him for all the moments that we did have together and the time we continue to spend together today. Thank you for teaching me to stand on my hands in the water, and on my own two feet in the world. Thank you for pushing me and having uncomfortable conversations with me so I could grow. Thank you for introducing me to coffee and TV shows. Thank you for everything papa. Happy Father’s Day. I love you.

~ Prisha Khimavat ~