This is part of a writing challenge. Click here to read more about it.
“So, which one?”
You look at me in anticipation
Waiting for reciprocation.
I stare with a vacant expression.
“I need time to make this decision.”
I find nothing to say.
My mind in disarray.
Finding that there’s no way
For my lips to part and let words escape.
Hours turn to minutes
And time flits on by
As I’m standing there frozen
Staring to feel broken
You repeat again
With frustration much,
“Dude, where do you want to go for lunch?”
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This is a topic that I’ve already kind of discussed in one of my earlier posts. However, apparently, it was on my mind again, because when I started writing, this is what came out. It’s something that I struggle with on a daily basis.
Indecisiveness.
Making decisions is hard! I struggle to decide what I want to eat, what I want to wear, where I want to go and what I want to do. Making decisions is like battling myself. It’s hard, unpleasant, and no one really wins. Often times, even the simplest decisions require a ‘Pros and Cons’ list.
I argue back and forth with myself (I admit, not always rationally) until I either have a definitive answer, or I just get exhausted and pick one at random. This method is often extremely exhausting and truly time-consuming when it doesn’t really have to be. Perhaps that’s why I find myself doing the same things over and over again.
For instance, I always order the same foods at restaurants. Once, I know what I like, I stick to it. I’ll wear the same outfit multiple times in a short time period (though I have a multitude to choose from) until I exhaust it. I’ll go to the same places after class unless something happens that makes me go elsewhere. Essentially, my schedule and choices are extremely predictable, and some might even say ‘basic’. I don’t like making decisions, so once I figure out what I like, or something that works then I tend to just stick with it.
I want to be that person that tries new foods, new things, and is unpredictable. I try hard to convince myself that I am that person too, but I’m proved wrong every time I stop to examine my life for even a second. I’m basic, and that’s that.
~ Prisha Khimavat ~
Duration: 39 minutes and 49 seconds
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