Prisha Khimavat

Earlier today, I went out with some friends, and one of those cheesy, inspirational quotes came to mind:

Friends are the Family we choose for ourselves.

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This got me thinking about why that is something we hold dear, and why it is a saying that we revel in. My conclusion is that the keyword here is ‘choose.’

Though there is something to be said about the joy of being able to choose, I think there’s something more deeply appreciated about being chosen. We don’t want to just be another person, we want someone to think of us as special enough to CHOOSE us. We just want to feel unique. We want to be different, we want to be handpicked from a sea of people. We want someone to see us for who we are and say, “I like this, I like you.” and more than that we want someone to say, “I choose to be your friend and I want you to be mine.”

At the very core, it’s about feeling wanted and needed.

Stories of two people locking eyes across a room, and just KNOWING inherently that this person was special, are absurd. It’s insane to expect to know everything about a person from the minute you see them. But a story of two people who spend a lot of time together, get to know each other, and never care enough to want or need the other person, just aren’t as interesting.

But the truth is, in our world, the latter is more common. We may spend years with someone and find that we don’t miss them when they’re gone, and we may find people that we meet for just one day, after which being separated for even a bit feels odd, just not right. Some people fit our needs better than others do.

It’s natural to want to be chosen and feel special, but what happens when you meet those people who don’t need or want you in their lives? It’s not fair to be expected to have a place for every human in your life, just like it’s not fair to expect everyone to have a place for you in theirs. Some people won’t like you, need you or want you. It may sound harsh, but it’s true. Not everyone needs everyone.

However, in every season of your life, there’s something new to be learned and a new way to grow. Sometimes people are in your life for many seasons, and sometimes they’re only there for a few. But in every season, every person that you choose and even those you don’t, teach you something and grow you in some way.

I don’t say any of this to be cheesy but to simply express that it normal to want to be chosen, but it’s not fair to expect everyone to choose you. This way, the ones that do, mean a little more. The same way, it’s completely acceptable to not have a place for everyone in your life, but for the ones that are in your life, it’s important to give them time, love, and loads of appreciation. People don’t live forever, and neither do most relationships, but it’s important to nourish the ones that are in your life and choose to enjoy each season to the fullest.

Something that I really want to focus on now, is that instead of waiting to be chosen by more people, I want to spend my time valuing and appreciating both the people that I have chosen and the ones that have already chosen me.

~ Prisha Khimavat ~